I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize