My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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