I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
