its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He passed out mid-signature
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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