You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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