So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I party with great urgency now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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