He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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