Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
