I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
