I heard we made out
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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