Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So much rum. So many feels.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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