Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
