Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
