i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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