we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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