So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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