i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
