its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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