At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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