Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
