I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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