did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
