My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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