A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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