Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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