Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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