fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
