you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
