Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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