i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
why is half of my head shaved?
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