i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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