it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
