btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
