using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
