please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
