32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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