bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
