THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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