Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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