Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
