This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
