you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
