we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
