no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
