Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
