hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize