i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
