his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
