His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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