Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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