I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
