I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
