No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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