I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
