I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
