New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found puke in my bra..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
