she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
