you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
