We named our party play list daddy issues
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize