just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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