Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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