I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
