I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
